What is Self-Trust?
Hello Loves,
With Valentine’s Day around the corner, I’ve been thinking about how much attention most of us give to romantic love and on the contrary how much we forget to nurture the relationship we’re in on a daily basis. The one with SELF.
This season my mantra is “Intention”. It is allowing me to move slower, listening closer. Essentially, paying closer attention to the me within. Honestly? I’ve noticed a huge shift in how I love, how I show up, and how I trust myself.
So I wanted to check in with YOU and also, remind you of something you may have forgotten that is MEGA IMPORTANT:
YOU DESERVE YOUR OWN ATTENTION, CARE AND DEVOTION!
💛 Self-Trust Is a Form of Love
Self-Love is not how gently we whisper to ourselves, but how serious we take ourselves.
I recently re-entered the dating pool. It’s not been easy, but it has shown me how I show up for myself. Instead of me circling back to how I have made others feel, I think more on how I feel. Do I FEEL calm? Do I speak freely? Checking in with self keeps you not only present in the moment but with yourself. It has come to help me tremendously!
Learning to trust yourself, doesn’t have to be loud and flashy. It’s mainly quiet and calm, like your intuition. It shows up quietly in moments when you:
- Honor your feelings.
- Listen to your body.
- Say “No”. It’s a complete sentence, no further explaining needed.
- Keep small promises to yourself.
Every time you choose yourself, you’re building trust with yourself.
Follow me in this scenario:
You are meeting someone on a planned outing or for a meeting. This meeting has been talked about several times between you and the other person. The day before, they confirm the appointment/meeting time. The day of, they show up 30 mins late.
How do you respond to this scenario? Do you trust this person’s ability to arrive in a timely fashion going forward? Possibly. But you’re not 100% sure. Do you feel this person respects your time? Most likely not. Now imagine doing this to yourself. Every time you schedule a mani/Pedi and then cancel it. The breakfast you skipped even though you were hungry. OR the breakfast you rushed because hitting the snooze button was comforting. If you wouldn’t allow it from someone else, why do it to yourself?
Your brain and nervous system store these decisions and they become neural routines. Subconsciously, you start to act accordingly. It’s important to create a safe space for yourself and that comes in the name of Self-Trust as well. When you trust yourself, love feels safer, not only from you but from others as well.
Another way that I am practicing self-trust, self-love and listening to my authentic self is by…. dating myself.
🌸 Dating Yourself
Solo dates are powerful! There’s so many opposing views on solo dates. but after having experienced it for myself, I LOVE SOLO DATES! Here’s why:
- I get to be intentional about how I want to show up for myself.
- How creative do I want to get with my outfit?
- What makeup or no makeup routine do I want to give myself?
- Where I want to go?
- What do I want to do while there?
- What time do I want to go?
It’s not about filing up time and space, but about how I choose to show up for myself without performance or pressure. Everything is centered around accessing myself and my happiness. You get to experience long sustained satisfaction from something of your choosing with no distractions. Its appointed time to reconnect with self and notice what really brings you joy without shrinking or compromising. Prescence is the point, everything else is extra.
Here’s a list of solo date examples, some I’ve already been on:
- Take Yourself to brunch
- Visit a bookstore or library and let a book choose you
- Go for a long walk with a playlist that fits your mood
- Sit at a cafe and journal instead of rushing
- Cook yourself a real meal and light a candle while you enjoy it
- Go to a movie alone without having to explain anything
✨ Mini Self-Love Challenge:
This week I challenge you to do something for yourself, that is not attached to anyone elses benefit but your own.
Try one of these this week:
- Take yourself on an intentional solo date
- Spend 10 minutes checking in with your body
- Cancel something you don’t have the capacity for (mentally, emotionally, spiritually or physically)
- Speak to yourself kindly when you make a mistake
The takeaway from doing these things: Consistency. Consistency builds confidence and confidence builds trust.
🖊️ Journal With Me
- What did I feel while on my solo date?
- How did I feel before and after?
- Did I learn anything new about myself
Additional Prompts:
- Where in my life am I being asked to trust myself more? What would it look like to say yes to that?
Other Tips & Resources:
💄 Soft Beauty & Visible Self
Lately, I’ve been embracing more makeup less days — letting my skin breathe, letting my face just be a face. There’s something “comfy” about not fixing what isn’t broken. I’ve never been a full-face kind of woman. Usually, some tinted moisturizer, mascara and lip gloss. For events, maybe some strategically placed shimmer and blush. I took some cues from this video. She was very informational and helpful. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!
Sometimes organizing your space is an act of self-respect. I have definitely felt this about my newly organized closet. Not that it’s perfect, but it’s getting there. I have a plan and its slowly but surely getting there. When you stop to ask yourself intentional questions (who what, when, where, why and how) for EVERYTHING, you will start to see how you’ve changed the way you show up for yourself.
I’ve also been slowly updating my wardrobe — and just as importantly, letting go of clothes that no longer fit my body, my lifestyle, or my truth. As I buy new pieces, I release old ones. It’s relieved mental overload that I didn’t even realize was there. On top of that, I am excited about what I wear on a daily and I can see everything in a way that allows me to create more exciting outfits. This video was very informational. I would say grab a pad and pen before you start her video, there’s A LOT of good info for everyone!
Get to the root of:
- Your Big Emotions
- Avoidance
- Irritability
- Conditioning
- Controlling Behaviors
- When to Apologize
- Much, Much more!
This journal was created for those needing assistance in working through their past, living in their present, and preparing for their futures. It is a guided journal filled with questions, activities, and prompts that help you work through what you’ve been through and help you shed the conditioning you picked up from family, friends, and society that may not be truly ours!
It will walk you through practical steps to master time management, deepen your relationships, and manifest abundance in all areas of your life all while giving yourself grace and compassion. By following the guidance within this journal, you’ll learn to honor your unique role in the world, make decisions that serve your highest good, and tap into the limitless potential available to you. It’s time to step into your greatness and live your most authentic and abundant life!
🌿 Want Support?
If you’re in a season where you want support navigating emotional wellness, life transitions, or sustainable self-care, I want you to know I’m here.
Through my Community Health Worker (CHW) work, I support individuals with:
• emotional wellness & self-care practices
• life navigation and goal clarity
• resource connection & advocacy
• building sustainable routines
If you’re curious about becoming a client, you’re always welcome to reach out.
And if you’re ready to go deeper right now, I’m also hosting a guided workshop:
✨ The Self-Trust Reset — a 90-minute experience focused on rebuilding trust within using positive psychology, journaling, and reflection.
As you move through this season of love, I hope you remember:
You are worth your own attention.
You are allowed to choose yourself without guilt.
And you are safe to come back home to yourself — again and again.
With Love,
Beneath The Skin 
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